The Amazing Power of Influence
(Three factors that influence your success)
I just looked up the word “factor” in my thesaurus and the synonyms include a cause, a component, and something of influence. Factors that would be an influence your life would be the environment in which you are raised, another would be the friends that you choose, and still another would be your attitude of mind. In your little life (your life before let’s say high school) these factors are more or less controlled for you. The one exception would be your attitude or your view of life.
Once you graduate from high school (or during high school), you are in control of the environment that you choose to live in, the people you choose to accept into your life, and most importantly, your attitude of mind. All of these factors can be a significant influence on your success in life. Each of us, even if we are raised in identical environments, develops a different perspective of the world around us. Even identical twins raised by the same parents have a different perspective. The greatest factor by far on your success is your attitude of mind.
I was raised in the north Bronx of New York City and went to parochial schools and then a local public college of the City University of New York. I was influenced by my relatives, friends, teachers, and professors. My perspective began to change when I changed my environment and the people with whom I associated. After three years of college, I decided to enlist in the U.S. Army with the Special Forces (Green Beret) option.
I can tell you that my perspective changed dramatically with the training, the people who were in my reference group, and through what was expected of me. I lived a very competitive life full of high risk, high expectation, and a very high learning curve. I was constantly learning new strategic, tactical and survival skills. I had a lot of stimulation in my life and I loved it. I still thrive on stimulation that compels me to grow in positive ways. Notice I didn’t say positive stimulation. Every experience or stimulation that we have, whether negative or positive, can be turned into a positive learning experience.
Throughout my Army career, I had the opportunity to choose almost every environment that I wanted to experience. After serving on a Special Forces A detachment, I was an instructor at the Special Forces Underwater Operations School in Key West, Florida. This was a primo assignment that many wanted but few were either selected or accepted for it. But after two years at SFUWO I was ready to move to a greater level of responsibility and influence. At the time I was a Staff Sergeant and I chose to apply for Officer’s Candidate School. I wanted to be a Commissioned Officer in the U.S. Army.
Long story short, I was commissioned a 2LT in the Infantry Branch and competed for and was assigned to one of the most coveted assignments as a Paratrooper – the 509th Airborne Battalion Combat Team in Vicenza, Italy. Again, I chose my environment, my reference group, and my attitude of mind. For me and my family, it was the most rewarding and fulfilling experience of my life outside of having three daughters.
Without going into the details of how it all happened, my experience could have totally different. But I believe that my perspective was a result of prudent choices on my part. I can share with you some of those choices and remember to be mindful that my choices included all three factors – environment, people, and attitude.
- Environment. I chose an environment which, in 1974, was a not a popular one since the United States was still at war in Vietnam. I chose an environment (Special Forces) that was very competitive to get into and very competitive once I was in it. While I was in each particular environment in the military, I made the best use of my time by being competitive, volunteering for more opportunities for training and seeking additional responsibility. You cannot live a passive existence in any environment and expect to progress. What are the steps that you can take that will get you closer to the environment that will increase your perspective and your chances of success?
- People. Here is an example of how I chose the people I wanted in my reference group. In 1976, I competed for and won the distinction of “Soldier of the Year” for John F. Kennedy Center for Military Assistance. I had to compete against the other top troops from the different Special Forces Groups and units at Fort Bragg. My reward, among a decoration, a watch, money, and a four day pass, was that I could choose assignment to any unit within that major command. Lucky? No, I worked hard for it. I therefore chose assignment to an elite Special Forces Detachment – A726. I was then a member of a unit that was given priority for high risk training, operations, and the experience that went with it. Although this example involved being a member of the military, the same applies to any career that you choose, but in a different manner. Who are the people that you would consider a positive reference group, and what measures can you take to place yourself within that group?
3. Attitude. The Best thing that I can say about attitude refers to your attitude of expectations. Somehow, I just always had an expectation that things would work out. What do you expect to happen in your life? Do you expect good things? Do you expect that things will go your way? You should, but you should also take action because without action, you can’t expect to reap any rewards. Expect that you will achieve, that you will receive, and that you will arrive. Keep taking the appropriate steps, be progressive and always look for higher ground. Seek more responsibility, seek to learn more skills, and seek experience beyond your current level. Look up and not down. Your goals are lofty; therefore they are way above the horizon. But never force things to happen before their time. Force negates and you will then recede or go backwards when you should be progressing and going forwards.
I would like to emphasize the point of allowing things to happen in their due time. We would all like to be successful, wealthy, and have optimum health and fitness as soon as we take our first step, our first action. The world doesn’t work that way. Are there people who you know that it has happened that way? Yes, just like the people who win the lottery. They achieve a great gain with what seems a small effort. Some even have won more than once. This is not luck, it is chance. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity and when you have done everything that you can to leverage environment, people, and your attitude.
Make it a terrific day!