You have heard of the old saying, “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”. Another is “tit for tat”. Another popular one is “whatever goes around comes around”. Each one of these can be used in different settings however; they all have similar meanings – that whatever you give, you can expect something in return. Another saying is “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.
I propose that we turn all of these upside down and say “do unto others what they would like you to do for them”. I am not saying that you should give your money, your property, your time, your loved ones and everything else that you hold dear in your life. What I am saying is that there are times when we are presented with opportunities to give without any form of obligation or compensation from the other person or group. We give because the other person has a need and what we give them can make a difference in their life.
In June of 2006, my wife Minerva, my daughter Catalina, and I were on a three week trip through Spain, Italy and Germany. We flew to Sicily and stopped by the Commissary at the U.S. Naval Air Station to get some groceries for our efficiency. Marylyn, the lady bagging groceries didn’t recognize us and engaged us in pleasant conversation. We explained that we were visiting for a few days and that we were staying at the guest house. We talked for about fifteen minutes then left and returned to the efficiency to put groceries away. By the time we returned to our room, there was a message on our phone. Marylyn left a message and offered to lend us her car so we could go site seeing and even gave us a list of things for us to see. We felt so comfortable with her that we did borrow her car and had a wonderful time seeing old Greek Ruins and stopping by Italian Cafes to eat Canoli’s and drink real Cappuccino. It was a most memorable experience and Marylyn asked for nothing in return.
Sometimes we get wrapped up in this age old bartering system that there has to be an exchange of one thing of value for something else of value. And that those things of value are tangible – that we must be able to see, feel, taste, or touch them.
We can all agree that love is intangible yet it has a value that cannot be measured. I am here to say that there is much more that we can give, especially in business that need not have a tangible return.
Let’s pretend that you are an entrepreneur and you have a product to sell. Someone walks into your brick and mortar store or onto your web site. Forget for a moment about what’s on the shelf or on your sales page. Another situation may be that you are at a professional or a personal gathering and an individual or a group of individuals recognize that you are an expert in your field.
You have several options here. You can do what most people do and you can offer your business card and ask them to contact you if they ever need anything. You have another option. You can choose to be interested in them. Ask them how they conduct their business. Ask about their marketing plan or how they attract customers. The more questions you ask the clearer picture you’ll have on what you can give them. You will attract more people by giving valuable information away than you will by trying to sell them.
Here is a question to ponder; “what is it that I know or have that I can give them to make a difference in their business or their life right now”? Depending on your answer, you may want to share the following with them:
- A book (not a title and author, but the book itself)
- A short training session on a skill, strategy, or technique.
- Your mobile number for more questions.
- Your valuable contact list.
- Your car (remember my experience traveling in Sicily?)
- Your mobile phone for a day
You can expand this list as long as you care to with things of value that you can share. My point is that we serve others because they have a need and not because we have to sell them. When we come from that perspective, we get so much more in return that we could have possible asked for. Remember that the seeds we sow unconsciously will reap ten fold.