In order for any of us to make our most basic decisions, we require a certain amount of self esteem that allows us to take the smallest risk. When we choose to leave our home to go to school or work and when we step out of the door, we are choosing to risk what’s outside of that door. This may seem trivial however; it is the most basic of our personal needs. That need is to feel the confidence to go out into the world around us.
In our little lives as children, everything that we see and hear and are allowed to do affects our amount of self esteem. The level of risk that we are willing to take is contingent upon our experiences and how good we feel about ourselves. This is true about everyone from the five year old in kindergarten to the corporate CEO of a Fortune 500 company.
As we grow and mature, we experience more and increase our repertoire of skills and personal strategies to deal with life. When we become adults, each of us still has a limited repertoire. We will always have a limited repertoire of skills and experience because the world is such a large and diverse place.
Imagine all of the new skills and experiences of the 6.5 Billion people on this planet in one twenty four hour period. We have now put things into perspective before we continue. Each of us, no matter who we are, can always use more self esteem and confidence.
Self esteem is purely individual and it involves how we respond to the world and the people around us. The more secure we feel about ourselves, the more appropriately we respond to other people and circumstances. The more specialized and varied experiences we have, the more new specialized and varied experiences we feel that we can succeed in.
In an interview years ago, David Brinkley asked advice columnist Ann Landers what question she most frequently receives from readers. Her answer: “What’s wrong with me?” When people have doubtful thoughts about themselves they also doubt their self worth or self esteem. Here is a paragraph from John C. Maxwell’s book, “Failing Forward”.
Every Genius could have been a failure
Every successful person is someone who failed, yet never regarded himself as a failure. For example, Wolfgang Mozart, on of the geniuses of musical composition, was told by Emperor Ferdinand that his opera The Marriage of Figaro was “far too noisy” and contained “far too many notes”. Artist Vincent Van Gogh, whose paintings now set records for the sums they bring at auction, sold only one painting in his lifetime. Thomas Edison, the most prolific inventor in history, was considered unteachable as a youngster. And Albert Einstein, the greatest thinker of our time, was told by a Munich schoolmaster that he would never amount to much.
In his book, Maxwell was trying to make a point about achievers who wee told that they would fail or wouldn’t amount to anything. I also believe that he makes a valid point that when we have a positive self image and self esteem, we can achieve great deeds, become ass successful as we would like in any business, occupation, or position in life.
Among other things, a lack of self esteem is responsible for poverty, racism, drug abuse and domestic violence. The better we see ourselves when we look in the mirror, the more appropriately and the more successfully we can deal with our world.
Maxwell Maltz was a plastic surgeon that spent just as much time helping people heal the mental scars as well as their physical ones. His book is titled “Psycho cybernetics”. He gave his patients a formula that they could use when they began to think negative thoughts about themselves and that could help them reprogram their thinking. The acronym is CRAFT and here is what it represents:
C – Cancel. Cancel the negative thoughts and feelings about yourself
R – Replace. Replace those thoughts with positive ones about yourself.
A – Affirm. Affirm the person that you want to be.
F- Focus. Focus on an image of success.
T – Train. Train yourself into being that person.