“Circumstances do not shape a man’s character,
They reveal his character to him”
A moment of truth is when we’re presented with circumstances to make a value-based choice. It is an opportunity to reveal who we are and what we represent. This moment of truth reveals our character and our integrity. Our character demonstrates how we make our day to day moral and ethical choices. Then integrity is our inner voice that should match our visible actions. The two must be congruent. Character is the snapshot of a given situation and integrity is composed of the inner moral fibers that reveal what our inner judgments and biases are. These inner biases usually reveal themselves when we find ourselves in dilemmas.
A snapshot of one’s character can be misleading because in most cases we demonstrate it while others are watching or when we have simple choices. An example of character would be correcting a mistake of a price made by a sales clerk when that mistake favors us. By alerting the sales clerk to the mistake and after they make the correction, all is fair and honest.
An example of integrity many times is obvious only to the one making the choice and no one else. Here are some examples of integrity:
- To choose the more difficult, but the right path, even when the easier one is an option.
- To say no when it is easier to say yes.
- To make an appropriate statement that puts us at some risk when it is easier to be silent.
- To refrain from doing something when it is easier to do it.
- To be patient when it is easier to engage now.
- To speak the truth in the face of adversity.
- To reveal something controversial when it is easier to hide it.
- To wait for another day or another moment to take action, when the appropriate moment is now.
If you believe that we are all somehow connected and if you believe that there are no coincidences in life, then you most likely believe that for every affect there is a cause. This law of cause and affect, as Bob Proctor calls it, is the law of laws. Whatever energy or effort we put into something is the same energy or result that we receive
We may receive in the same form or in another form, but we always receive what we give. When we put positive or negative energy into a situation, we receive a positive or negative result.
How does this all relate to a Moment of Truth? When we are presented with difficult choices or a dilemma, the choice that we make in the moment is always reflected in another subsequent situation or circumstance. Life becomes easier when we get past our most difficult choices.
The first way life gets easier is when we get past internal conflict and we are at peace with ourselves. When we make difficult but prudent choices, we are at peace with ourselves and our self-esteem rises. We feel good about ourselves and we like who we are. The other benefit is the next time that we’re faced with a dilemma; it’s easier to make the prudent choice. Life becomes less burdensome when we easily make the difficult choices, even what that choice benefits someone else and not us.
The more we clarify our values and practice them prudently, the stronger our moral foundation, the more integrity we have, and the easier it is for us to navigate the storms in our lives. Life becomes simpler if not easier.
If your present circumstances are not helping you to make prudent choices, here are some tips that you should find helpful to either change your circumstances or to help you make better choices:
- Seek a mentor, someone who is respected and found to possess good character and integrity.
- Look for positive models, even if you have to leave your immediate surroundings.
- Read inspiring material, such as biographies, about famous people who are universally respected.
- Walk away from negative situations.
- When engaging another person or a situation, leave the person or the situation better off than when you first engaged them or it.
Resource: Read “The On Purpose Person” by Kevin McCarthy.