How much are your Goals forward-looking?
(Dad always said don’t look backwards)
I have been writing for several years as well as having a full time sales career. In fact, for the last ten years, I have spent a majority of my off time teaching, writing, and coaching and I have finally taken the steps to make this, my passion, a full time commitment. You could say this is my third career, and I love it! I have crossed many bridges and did my best to keep them all open. My goals are different than they were ten years ago when we had small children at home. Now that our children are in college or have started careers, my perspective is different. Some of my goals however, haven’t changed – healthful living, family time, spiritual growth, and financial security are at the top of my list. Although some of my goals may be different, my plan for this journey differs little. My outlook is to keep growing, focus on the good and the beautiful, remain the incurable optimist, and take it one day at a time. An important reminder for me is to remain forward-looking. When I think of forward-looking, I remember a related story my dad has to tell when he was only six years old.
Nana (what we call my grandmother), my dad, and his sister, Aunt Angie, had some difficult times in their early years as a family. Here is the context of their situation during the depression years in New York City. Nana was a single parent supporting a family of three on a meager income. She was a devout Catholic woman who went to church seven days a week and she was very involved with the women’s groups in her parish. In fact, she remained a very devout Christian through her last days. I know this because I was the first grandchild and she would take me with her to church almost daily. She had a large network of friends and families from her church groups.
During those formative years for my dad and Aunt Angie, there were still very few laws protecting the rights of renters as well as regulating the minimal living conditions. They lived in a one room tenement in lower Manhattan. The one room was the kitchen, living, and bedroom for three people and there was a coal burning stove to heat the living space. There were still no laws regarding pest control so you can imagine a tenement building with 60 units without a means to control pests. As the depression era lingered, many companies closed or had to downsize. My grandmother’s position in her company was finally eliminated and Nana was without a job. She had enough savings to pay the rent for two more months and a little extra for emergencies. The two months passed and my grandmother was without a job. Then came the eviction notice and in those days the notice was a verbal eviction from the landlord. At the time they had no relatives living in the New York, but when word was out that they were being evicted, Nana’s church family came through for her. In the 1930’s there were still horse-drawn carts used for transporting merchandise, fruit, vegetables…etc. She had a friend from church who was a fruit vendor and they packed all of their belongings in the horse draw-cart. My dad remembers it well because he sat in the back of the cart with his legs dangling, thinking this was a fun ride somewhere. Their life possessions were then taken to another friend’s apartment where they shared living space until she got another job. She did secure another job after several months and got her own place again, but the bond with that family has endured through the years through my dad today.
They were tough times for Nana, dad and Aunt Angie, but when dad refers to it, he doesn’t look back on it as bad times, but as a learning experience. Hence, dad’s expression to “not look back” means to not look at the bad times as such but as part of the journey. It is best to look forward and to remain focused on the present.
Remember that your goals are your passion, what you strive for, but your focus is on today, this moment, this journey. When you keep your eye on the ball, with time, you will arrive at your temporary destination. I say temporary because nothing remains the same. You, your goals, your journey are always changing, always becoming. Remember that you are always in a state of becoming and it is your choice to become more, or less. Always strive to be more today than you were yesterday. And remember; remain forward-looking with your goals.